


Statement #23912 - 'Wil'

by Archivist_Al



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Forgive Me, Gen, I don't know anything about Wilford Warfstache, Markiplier egos - Freeform, Short, Statement #23912, This is basically a bad Wilford Motherloving Warfstache, WKM, archive drabbles, i hate this, i wrote this in two hours, not my proudest work, teleporting, wmw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archivist_Al/pseuds/Archivist_Al
Summary: Case #23912 - Statement of Detective Abe Hammer regarding a strange encounter with one William J. Barnum.Original statement given March 31, year unknown.Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, London.
Kudos: 8





	Statement #23912 - 'Wil'

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for seven hours, realized it was more about Mark than Wil, deleted it and rewrote it in two hours. This sucks.

Case #23912 - Statement of Detective Abe Hammer regarding a strange encounter with one William J. Barnum.  
Original statement given March 31, year unknown.  
Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins:

_William J. Barnum._

_The bastard._

_He was an incredibly hard man to catch. I chased him halfway across the globe, for years, decades, even._

_He’d gone mad at a party we’d both attended. A party that’d gone horribly wrong.  
The host had been murdered, and… Wil had gone mad from it. He murdered everyone else at the party. Celine and Damien Roosevelt, Benjamin Butler, the chef, everyone. He shot me in the chest. How I survived a bullet directly through the heart, I don’t know, but nothing about Wil makes sense. _

_I finally cornered the madman at a rollerskating rink, The Moonlight Rollerway. He was apparently going by the name ‘Wilford Warfstache’ now.  
It took forever to wrestle him into my car, but when I did, he started talking. But of course the fucker couldn’t just open his mouth to do anything but drink, so he started talking to me, in my head. He invaded my thoughts and spouted his nonsense into it, even having the audacity to ask if we’d previously dated. _

_I tied him to a chair in my office, where I began to interrogate him. At least, I tried. He dodged my questions, and started pursuing my photographs and files. I hadn’t even let him out of the restraints, yet he was across the office by the time I turned to look at him.  
He couldn’t remember that he’d killed Damien, but he remembered that we’d gotten stuck in the snow during a train ride. A train ride that had never happened. _

_He walked closer to me, a sudden, intense feeling of unease and threat rising up in my chest as he approached. I fired my gun, once, twice, but he simply shushed it, pressing a kiss to the muzzle, not even flinching. Again, he told me that he couldn’t remember anything anymore, but that he remembered me. He embraced me, muttering a soft apology. When I went to shove him off, he was already gone, sitting at my desk._

_I blew up at him.  
William wheedled until I calmed down some, then asked where our closest encounter before that point was, what year it was.  
I couldn’t remember a thing. The memories were so close, but just out of my reach. The simplest details, all slipping away from me.  
I collapsed into a chair. I’d obsessed over William’s case for years, but why couldn’t I remember anything?  
“Am I crazy?” I asked.  
The question was rhetorical, but Wil grabbed me by the shoulders. I wasn’t crazy, he said. But I was focusing on everything but the big picture._

_I told him that it was impossible to know things that hadn’t happened yet. Then, all at once, he was so close to my face that I could smell the margarita he’d had on his breath. He looked me dead in the eyes and whispered the words:_

_“Yes, exactly. Just like how it’s impossible to survive a bullet through the heart.” ___

__End statement._ _

__Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to make any follow up on this statement, as it’s in America.  
We made an attempt to contact Detective Hammer, but as it turns out, he died from a gunshot wound to the heart shortly after giving this statement. I have a feeling that that ‘bullet through the heart’ finally caught up to the man. _ _

__End recording._ _


End file.
